elements of self: the eyes

the next in the series of self portrait challenges from the ever inspiring shakti mama is the eyes. i was surprised at how much i struggled with this one. true, i never really loved my eyes as a child. i thought brown too common a color to be beautiful. as with most things in life (in my teen years at least), i wanted something more unique, something that stood out and got attention.
i have since accepted my brown eyes for what they are. i am actually fond of the color of my eyes which i honestly didn't capture here very well. no, now it is the age all around my eyes that i struggled with during this photo shoot. my eyes have always been the first to show signs of distress in my physical and emotional health. lack of sleep, a night of crying, not eating well, and so much more shows up in the space around my eyes like a glaring neon light.
like my mother, i have these great luggage compartments under my eyes that i am still trying to come to terms with. i believe that they could improve as my health improves, but have yet to see those rewards. also like my mother, i have severe allergies which have reeked havoc on my eyes and those great bags below. i have been working to try and master those issues so that they stop controlling my life (yes, they are that bad).

here is a funny angle taken in the car. you can see the scar on my face.

what i love about the eyes is being able to truly see one's soul. getting a deeper glimpse into who they are and how they might be feeling in that moment. words can complicate things and get in the way of true meaning. the eyes speak clearly and simply. i appreciate and honor when someone takes the time to connect with me in conversation by looking me in the eye. i know that they are interested in me and my thoughts, not just spitting out their dialogue to anyone who might be listening.

my children were fascinated by mommy taking pictures of her eyes and wanted to play along, too. ;) the space around their eyes always gives away how they are feeling, too.
to see my previous elements of the self portraits, click here and here. all seem to have highlighted my eyes thus far.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

black and white wednesday

another flashback. this is sienna age 3. another one of my most favorite pics ever.

giveaways from friends....

here are a few for you:

* my dear friend renee, of heirloom seasons, is having a giveaway for a sweet book and some of her vintage feedsack handmade treasures.

* another sweet and talented friend, linda, of natural suburbia, is giving away two of her knitted animals (they are so delightful!!) and a skein of hand dyed merino yarn.

* yet another gal i call friend, jennifer, of syrendell is having a three part giveaway with three different winners!

* and from a blog i am new to and growing to love, the sewn natural studio is giving away an adorable organic children's tee.

so go enter!! i have won a couple of sweet giveaways recently (one from sewn natural!) and i would love for you to, too! ;)

today at the farm

jasper was spared the farm today. he doesn't do well in the heat so he doesn't enjoy his time there as much as sienna and i. ms joy wanted her daughter, anna mae, to get a taste of farm life so we traded kids for the day. i wish i had snapped a picture of the fancy sandals she sported, but nonetheless, she dug right in and worked her fair share!
we were assigned the blueberry patch. poor souls, i know! the gals easily picked a gallon each. these bushes are dripping with blueberry goodness. we didn't even make a dent in the ripe berries in the two hours we spent there.
when they tired of picking, they played blueberry princesses under the shade of the arching limbs. how divine to merely reach an arm's length from your throne and have a feast of ripe delicious blueberries!
we then retreated to the shade of the barn. anna mae and sienna assembled and lined up the 37 csa boxes on their own. i weighed and bagged pontiac potatoes, they added in garlic bulbs and put a bag in each of the boxes. then we washed the chard, both red and rainbow. we all enjoyed shaking the water off onto one another for a nice cool down! they then placed the bunches one in each box.
sienna has been wanting to go out there on a tuesday so that our efforts would be going into our very own box. we pick up our csa box on wednesdays at the tailgate market so today's boxes will be delivered there tomorrow. the potatoes, garlic, chard, and blueberries we will find inside they helped to harvest, clean, or pack up! there will be more surprises added to the boxes throughout the day as the interns continue their labor in this hot, hot august sun.

i bought the girls a pint of blueberries each. after all, you can't pick blueberries all morning and come home empty handed! tonight we will read one of our most favorite books, peter in blueberry land. i adore elsa beskow. we have the mini edition of this one and usually take it with us when we venture out blueberry picking to enjoy whilst resting in the shade between basket fillings.

if you love this book as much as we do, you must see my dear friend chris' (mamaroots) rendition of the blueberry king!

some more csa love:

eat real good is a meal planner based on your csa box. this website allows you to enter in the contents of your box (or your cupboard) and then gives you recipes that you can make with those items. it is a database that is open for the public to add recipes to as well. this was made by a local mom and i have enjoyed exploring it. i like that you can customize it to your dietary needs, ie. gluten-free, etc.

this list at fake plastic fish was compiled by the berkeley farmer's market. it has loads of ways to keep your produce fresh without resorting to plastic. love that!

have you been to a farm lately?

a doll mansion

my great uncle walter passed away in the spring. he retired from the military twice and then took up woodworking. his specialty was dollhouses. not just any dollhouses. elaborate, intricate pieces of craftsmanship like none other. he gifted me one when i was a small child. it came completely outfitted with delicate, completely functional furniture. i loved it dearly, but i was not gentle with it. he said to me in recent years that he gave it to me when i was a bit too young. unfortunately, they are mostly in pieces in a box now. the dollhouse itself is in need of repair. it sits at my mom's house. i so regret not getting it to him to have him do the repairs himself while he was able.

my sister and i have 8 years between us. she didn't get a dollhouse. she has never let me forget it. ;) when we visited uncle walter a couple of years ago, he had his masterpiece sitting on his porch. it had already been sitting there for years. heather (that's my sister) shared with him her sorrow that she never owned one of her very own. he told her she could have that one!
now you must understand that this dollhouse is nearly six feet long and over three feet wide (much larger than mine)! she couldn't exactly fit it in her back seat. time passed and sadly, so did uncle walter. there is a bit of scandal surrounding his estate and affairs so when i was offered the opportunity to drive down to south carolina and pick the dollhouse up for her, i didn't hesitate. it meant completely unbolting the back seats in my suv (yes, i drive one of those, i know) and sacrificing all leg room for the journey home (2&1/2 hours), but we made it work!

i can not imagine the many, many hours he spent on these creations attending to the tiniest of details. he cut each and every tiny shingle.

since we still have no way to get it to her and she really has no where to put it, it lives here for now. uncle walter had had it practically outside for years. it was in the *dog room* but there were two open doors on either side. it was protected by a roof overhead, but not from dirt, dog hair, wind, mice, etc. it was caked with grease and dirt and filled with tiny nails and mouse poop! ick.here it is next to matt's car to give an idea of it's size.

though sienna and i spent hours early in the summer cleaning it with scrub brushes and toothbrushes alike, it was still coated in grime. it stayed on our picnic table securely wrapped in tarps until my mom came last week. she shined it up real pretty! thanks mom!
sienna was already in the midst of a room redo. we cleared half of her room so that she could have this beast in there for a while. she could not be happier! the darn thing is so big that she really only uses half of it, if that. her very spoiled dolls now have a complete ballet studio in their new home.
this one came unfurnished. my furniture needs repair and even so it really just isn't suitable for the play of a six year old and her rowdy little brother. so she uses hers as her own (tiny in comparison) dollhouse is taking a break in the attic.

uncle walter modeled this one after a deluxe log home that he and his girlfriend encountered on their travels. he took lots of pictures and went home and recreated it. he obviously did it just to do it because then it just sat there on the porch for many years. he used to enter these into state fairs and win blue ribbons. he loved that women would buy them and deck them out with electricity and everything!

as a child, i loved receiving gifts from my great uncle that he had made with his own hands. it wasn't until much later in my life that i developed such a deep, deep love of all things wooden. i do wish that i could have spent some time with him in his shop and learned some of his trade.
getting this beast into the house was no easy feat! i didn't get any pictures of the next step where we stood it up on end and balanced it on a skateboard to get it around that 90 degree corner into her room at the end of the hallway.
thank you, uncle walter for the endless hours i spent with my own dollhouse and other toys you crafted and for the joyous play you have now brought to my children. with love, rae

freezer paper stenciling....finally!

so, i am really late to this party, but i finally had the opportunity to try out freezer paper stenciling last night thanks to my sweet friend jean, known in blogland as the artful parent. jean hosted a crafty night for some lucky gals but unfortunately her sweet baby, daphne, was not down with the game plan so jean didn't actually get to do any crafting with us. daphne refused to go to sleep and really, who could blame her? i would want to stay up and be part of the fun, too!
jean prepared a beautiful spread for us gals. though she actually had three projects for us to choose from, we all dove into the freezer paper stenciling right away. i brought along some of my kiddos stained clothes for my first attempts. i love how they turned out!
sienna's shirt had paint (and other miscellaneous) stains on the sleeves. she had seen me alter one of my own t-shirts a couple of weeks ago and loved it so we decided to give this one the same treatment. i simply cut off the sleeves to make them shorter using one of her t-shirts as a guide.
i then cut the collar off by snipping carefully right under the trim piece. the edges will roll a bit with wash and wear.
i am excited to do more of these! everyone in the family is already talking about what they want next. i'm also looking forward to some actual crafting with jean sans bebe! ;) thanks for the much needed night out filling my creative well and basking in the company of such beautiful mamas!